I'm just an animal looking for a home

Journal Entry

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Note:  The only changes to this entry are minor corrections to grammar, punctuation, formatting, and spelling.  I’ve also removed any last names which appeared, except in the case of teachers.

Well, on the night of the 3rd, Maile was supposed to meet me at 1AM, but didn’t.  I got caught outside at 1:30AM.  I escaped back outside at 1:35AM, determined not to let Maile down.  That did me little good.  Maile says she cares about me and likes talking to me.  Deep down I don’t believe her.  I should, and it’s not fair to her not to trust her.  She’s given me every reason to trust her, and no reason not to.  I’m betraying her by not trusting her.  But I’ve accepted that I’m not worthy of her friendship.  That is obvious.  Whoever she marries will be the luckiest person on Earth.  I go around all day thinking or whispering “I love Maile.”  It makes me happy, but not for long.  My heart insists Maile doesn’t really like me and that I annoy her.  If this were true, I imagine she’d act differently, but my heart tells me she doesn’t like me.  But that is the same heart that loves her.  To discredit it’s idea of her not liking me would be to discredit my love for her, would it not?  I KNOW I love her. Does that mean I know she dislikes me?  I’d like to ask her about that, but she wouldn’t want to talk to me probably.

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Author: mitcharf

vegan, curmudgeon, animal lover, feminist, agnostic, cat whisperer, bookworm, hermit, Red Sox fan, Cthulhu enthusiast, softball player, man-about-town

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