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Rules to The Game


Note: I am transcribing this from an undated paper I kept from my youth.  Thus, the date on this entry is approximate.  I believe the earliest this could realistically be is January 1992, and the latest would be July 1993.  These are the rules to a game that was invented by myself, Curtis, and Matt.  And maybe Joel?  We definitely had a fourth player at some point.  Anyway, it was designed to be played in our front yard in Tomball, using all of the balls and bat-like implements we had in our garage.  If memory serves, this typically included a baseball, a tennis ball, a football, a basketball, a baseball bat, and a tennis racket. And although it is not mentioned below, the pitcher could not pitch a ball until each player had given their call, in the order pitcher-batter-catcher-fielder. Without further ado…


  • Pitcher – Lord
  • Batter – Sir
  • Fielder – Duke
  • Catcher – Baron


  • Pitcher – Metal Fish
  • Batter – Purple Lapel
  • Fielder – Holy Holy Harf
  • Catcher – Ceramics

Batter must hit ground ball (must travel down after connecting with the bat) into the designated batting lane.

Fielder must field the ball. To tag the runner out, the hit ball must be switched at the designated ball dump, and then either the pitcher or the fielder may take the new ball and tag the runner out.

The runner must do 1 of 3 things:

  1. Run to “1st tree” and back to the “home tree” and shout “Safe!”.  This gets them 1 point and no outs.
  2. Run to “1st tree”, back to the “home tree” (which gets them 1 point), and then run back and forth, from home to 1st.  Touching each extra tree gets them 1 extra point. However, they cannot call “Safe!”, so when they are tagged, they are out.
  3. Run to the mailbox (at any time, from any base), touch it, and return to either tree.  This gets them 5 points.  They then must keep going from tree to tree (getting 1 point for each tree they touch) until they are tagged out.  Going to the mailbox forfeits your “Safe!”.

The catcher’s job is threefold:

  1. Keeping score.
  2. Catching balls the batter misses.
  3. Referee.

There are no teams.  Each player has an individual score.  Every 3 outs the positions are switched.  The order is this: Pitcher-Batter-Catcher-Fielder.

Pitcher chooses the ball they want to pitch, then the batter chooses the bat they wish to use.

A Ball Of Foil is called when the players want a rest or drink or a break.  It must be agreed on by 3/4 at least.

The rules will be decided on the field, by a majority vote of the players.


  • -1 point for usin the incorrect title. Players must call each other by their titles always (except during a Ball Of Foil), and leaving off their title is as bad as using the incorrect title.
  • -1 point if the catcher loses the ball in the shrubs.
  • -1 point if the pitcher pitches 2 wilds in a turn of pitching. (If this is the case, and the ball is lost, then the catcher is not penalized).  The pitcher loses 1 point for every wild ball after the first 2.
  • -1 point for unnecessary roughness 2 times in 1 position.  1 point lost for every incident after this.

Author: mitcharf

vegan, curmudgeon, animal lover, feminist, agnostic, cat whisperer, bookworm, hermit, Red Sox fan, Cthulhu enthusiast, softball player, man-about-town

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