I'm just an animal looking for a home

Santa? Tooth fairy?

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Current Mood: surprised
Current Music: Riddlin’ Kids – Tell Me Why

Ok, maybe you’ll see that I’m writing this around 3am in the morning and figure that I’m still awake from the day before. Not true. I went to sleep around midnight, but I woke up recently, and there’s something I have to write down.

I guess I may not have mentioned it on here before, but my apartment complex has been pretty slow about installing my washer and dryer. Three times they gave me dates by which it would be done, and all three times the dates came and went with no washer and dryer having been installed. I first told them I wanted them installed on the day I moved in, Saturday, August 27th. The final date they gave me was Wednesday, September 5th (ie yesterday). I got home from work at about 6pm, checked the washer/dryer room, and it was empty. I cursed the name of the apartment complex, and decided to go see them in the morning and see what was up. Then I had to run out to play ultimate frisbee, so I left my apartment around 6:20pm. I got back at 9pm, showered, ate dinner, and went to sleep.

Here’s the strange thing. Like I said, I recently woke up. I fell asleep quickly, but then I started having trouble sleeping. I kept tossing and turning, half awake. Then, finally, something outright woke me up. It sounded like a solid, metallic thunk from my right. I was lying face-down on my bed, so the outside wall of my apartment was to my right. I don’t want to go into the layout of my apartment, but suffice it to say that this same area is right next to my patio, and the laundry room is off of my patio. My first thought — someone is screwing with my bike, which is chained up out there. My second thought — who the fuck would want to steal my bicycle, which is an old, dirty, mountain bike? My third thought — I remember that when we were shown this complex, Matt asked what stopped people from using your washer and dryer, since they were right off your patio, and he was told that each person was given a padlock for the door to their laundry room. Anyway, my third thought was that maybe someone was trying to screw with my washer and dryer, not realizing that I didn’t have any.

I peered out my bedroom window, and saw nothing going on. I got out of bed and surreptitiously observed the patio area. No motion, laundry room doors closed (as I left them), bicycle intact….but wait! The bicycle was NOT as I left it. On one of the handle-bars was something that looked like an extra-long slinky. Weird. I watched for a while longer, and still nothing happened. Then it struck me — the slinky could also be one of those fat, grey tube-things that plugs into the back of a dryer. It had the right appearance, as far as I could tell in the dim light.

I had to know. I pulled back the blinds, unlocked the door, opened it, and stepped tentatively out into the night. No noises out of the ordinary, no assassin stepped forward to dispatch me. I approached the bike and examined the slinky. Sure enough, it was that weird dryer tube. This is weird, I thought…vandals, in the middle of the night, who simply put a dryer-tube on my bike….to what? to mock my lack of success at getting my washer and dryer?

I glanced over at the door to the laundry room (I call it a room, but it’s really just an alcove, big enough to fit both machines and my hot water heater and lord knows how many insects). It looked exactly like I left it. Still, this new addition to my patio was clearly related to washers and dryers, so I had to make sure. I opened the door and, lo and behold, a nice new washer and dryer.

Needless to say I was (and still am) surprised. Many thoughts ran through my head, but I just closed the door, went back in the house, closed that door, locked it, and put the blinds back in place. I considered going back out and using one of my bike locks (I have 2) to secure the laundry room against attack. Maybe I’ll go do that after I write the entry.

So now here I am, thinking about what must have happened. The logical answer is that they delivered it while I was at ultimate frisbee, even though that meant it was done between 6:30pm and 9pm. Of course, logical answers never are as appealing at 3am. The other explanation is that some benevolent genie magically gave me these devices in the middle of the night. Maybe it was Santa Claus, and the noise that woke me up was him and his reindeer pushing off. Does the Tooth Fairy moonlight as a delivery person? I mean, I know I heard a noise, the doors looked like they hadn’t been moved, and well, yeah.

Who knows? All I know is that I have a ton of laundry, and I’m glad to be able to wash it. Now if only the complex would fix my dishwasher (the part where you put the soap won’t stay closed), and program my phone number into the gate, so guests (ha, like I have guests) could call me from the gate to get let in.

I’m gonna go lock up the laundry room and go back to sleep…but I know I’m gonna check again, to make sure I didn’t dream the washer and dryer.

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Author: mitcharf

vegan, curmudgeon, animal lover, feminist, agnostic, cat whisperer, bookworm, hermit, Red Sox fan, Cthulhu enthusiast, softball player, man-about-town

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