I'm just an animal looking for a home

The Bull Grecian says, “What have you read?”

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Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: My Solo Project – Mates of State – Ride Again

So I am working my way through a book of short stories (Stories In The Worst Way by Gary Lutz). Let me give you some excerpts from the stories, to give you some idea of what I’m contending with here.

I would keep a sidelong watch over her as she ordered her daily allowance of cough drops in echelon on a square of paper towel. May the arms of other people be said to have an atmosphere? At the very least, may they be construed as aromatic systems of bone and down? Hers enjoyed, for my sake alone, an intimate publicity above the little dove-gray squares of her keyboard. (from Sororally)

I found that I had to assign the man a face and mete him out a life as unfinishable as my own before I could shark off into sleep. (from Contractions)

I particularly like the phrase “shark off into sleep”. I will also quote for you the story Susceptibility in its entirety:

This is about two people. It should not have to matter which two. In fact, wherever there are two people, regardless of what everything between them might still be in spite of, this is bound to be the story in full.

One of them wanted to know where he could buy some of those rubber squares you stick under the feet of furniture, either to protect the finish on the floor or to keep the furniture from sliding away, whichever it was.

That one’s my father.

The other one’s me.

So yeah, that’s one of the books I’ve been reading. Whatever faults and pretensions it may have, at least it’s different from most of what’s out there. And the phrase “shark off into sleep” is, in my opinion, alone worth the price of the book.

Oh, so I also had my court date earlier this week. Turns out that I didn’t appear before a judge or even see the prosecuting attorney. All that happened was my lawyer was given the prosecution’s file, which basically contained the evidence they were going to use against me and the list of witnesses they were prepared to call. It also included an offer, which is something I can accept and then avoid trial altogether (basically pleading guilty, I think). The offer is a combination of a fine, community service, a drug/alcohol counseling class, and a period of probation. The period of probation is going to be something like 18-24 months, during which time I am not supposed to drink or commit felonies (as opposed to during a non-probationary time, when I am encouraged to commit felonies). Anyway, the whole court process will hopefully be finished up in August, and then I’ll start the probationary period, etc. Blah.

A pet peeve of mine is Live Journal accounts that are primarily quiz results, links, or other non-original content. Of course, I write this on the heels of having spent a significant portion of my entry quoting from a book of short stories that I did not author. Whatever. This is of no consequence.

Keri is still set to move in during the second week of August. I’m looking forward to it. The only trouble in paradise is that she’s allergic to cats. If you know me, then you’ll know I couldn’t really give up my cats. Fortunately Keri and I are moving into a new apartment in September, and we have a number of plans for that place with the goal of minimizing her allergies. For example, the new apartment has two stories, and the cats will not be allowed in the two upstairs room (our bedroom and a room where Keri plans to setup her loom (yes, she has a loom, if you can believe it)). The cats aren’t going to like this, I imagine, because they are accustomed to having no restrictions on their movement within the apartment. We’re going to try to lessen the impact on them by not spending tons of time behind closed doors upstairs, because I think the main thing that they want is to be around us. If we’re downstairs, they won’t care too much about being upstairs.

We have all sorts of other plans to help with the allergies, including air filters, a fancy vacuum cleaner, and replacing some of my current furniture in which cat allergins have thoroughly entrenched themselves. Keri has also discovered a plant that is non-toxic to animals, but apparently doesn’t smell good to cats (kinda the opposite of catnip), and we may be able to place one or two of these plants in strategic locations in the apartment (such as at the top of the stairs), in order to deter the cats from wanting to be in those places. We’re also going to make a nice cat bed for the cats, which hopefully they will use at least some of the time, so that they won’t spend all of their time on the furniture getting it all catty.

I think it will help that we’re making all of these changes at the same time as we move to the new apartment. It would be tougher to change this stuff up if we were staying in the same apartment, because the cats have gotten used to how things are done in the current apartment.

Anyway, yeah. I guess this seems like a big hassle, but it’s really not that bad. We’re just gonna plan all of this stuff out ahead of time, and get it done. Keri keeps thanking me for my willingness to do all of these things, but the way I see it, we’re both making sacrifices. If I want to be with her, I have to find a way for her and the cats to coexist. And if she wants to be with me, she has to tolerate some level of cat allergies. I know that we both think it’s worth the sacrifices on both of our parts.

I really could use a nap right now. 4pm on Friday afternoon — I feel like time has stood still. Today I’ve mostly been thinking about how nice it would be to ride around atop a giant robotic spider. Wasn’t there some movie a couple years ago with Will Smith set in the old west that featured a giant mechanical spider? I didn’t see it, but I remember thinking it looked strange. Anyway, I want a giant robotic spider on which to ride. After I take a nap, that is.

Sometimes I am quite anti-social. Frequently, even. Yet even in those moods, I don’t mind being around Keri, which is pretty unusual. I think it’s because she’s pretty low key and doesn’t mind just chilling out at home, doing nothing. She likes to go out and do stuff too, but she has a great appreciation for just lying around and watching movies or listening to music or talking or doing nothing at all. It’s good. I really like being at home, so it’s good that we’re compatible in that respect. She doesn’t like the movie Kicking and Screaming, but I guess nobody’s perfect.

Also, Keri has eighteen limbs and is from Europa, one of Jupiter’s satellites. She requires a breathing apparatus to survive in Earth’s atmosphere, but she is able to withstand temperatures in excess of 1800 degrees Celsius. She can also move objects with the power of her mind, speak all languages living and dead, and ignite fires at a range of up to 200 meters. This is why I love her.

Atom & His Package is playing his last show in August. :(

I don’t want to end on a sad note, so in closing let me share with you some good news: I learned the word lacuna the other day, and today I learned the word asterism. I like to learn new words.

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Author: mitcharf

vegan, curmudgeon, animal lover, feminist, agnostic, cat whisperer, bookworm, hermit, Red Sox fan, Cthulhu enthusiast, softball player, man-about-town

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  1. Pingback: I'm just an animal looking for a home | Allergies

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