I'm just an animal looking for a home

Kinky experiments

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The movie I ended up watching on Netflix last night was 1986’s Crawlspace starring Klaus Kinski.

Would you rent a room from this man?

Netflix described the film as follows:

Klaus Kinski is at his creepy best as Karl Gunther, whose boarding house for young women hides some sinister secrets. He spends his downtime stalking his tenants from hidden passages and carrying out kinky, sadistic experiments. The son of a psychotic SS doctor, Gunther is being tracked by a famed Nazi hunter. But until he’s caught, more unassuming women will fall victim to his depravity. Talia Balsam and Barbara Whinnery co-star.

So you can obviously see why I wanted to watch it.  Observations:

  • Not only were there no kinky experiments conducted (or even alluded to), there were no experiments at all!  I’m not sure exactly how that found its way into the movie description.  It is true that the main character kills various people, sometimes in creative ways, but nothing that could be termed an experiment.  I feel cheated.
  • Any woman who chose to rent a room in this boarding house after meeting the landlord deserved what she got, for obviously she is suicidal.  He is the creepiest landlord ever.  EVER.
  • One of the member reviews described the main character as “a near Einsteinian doctor.”  This member must have had a different science textbook than I did.
  • The movie is rated R for various reasons, among them “brief drug use”.  To the best of my recollection there were no drugs used in the movie, so again Netflix has taken liberties when describing the movie.  Look, Netflix — first you don’t have the third Dirty Harry movie, now this…  You’re slipping!
  • It wasn’t a very good movie, but on the plus side, it was only 80 minutes long.

Moving on…

I played in a softball game in Round Rock earlier tonight.  This season I’m playing on a Friday night men’s team called the Misfits.  An apt name, I assure you.  We were mercy ruled tonight, although I’m given to understand that our opponents are undefeated this season.  To add, um, injury to insult, our pitcher got hit in the kneecap with a ball and had to leave the game.  Fortunately it doesn’t seem to be broken.  This is the first time I’ve played regularly on a men’s team for several years.  I generally prefer co-ed, since there tends to be more childishness and stupidity in men’s league.  Trash talking, yelling at the umpires, yelling at the other team, yelling at your own team, wanting to get in a fight after the game, etc.  Not to say that stuff is entirely absent in co-ed, but there does seem to be less of it.  Anyway, so far this league doesn’t seem to have much of that, which is nice.  I can never understand why people feel the need to act that way.  Some people seem to think that you aren’t trying to win if you aren’t being a jerk.  SIGH.  Then again, I don’t understand why people are cruel to other people in general.  Or animals.  Bah.  Can’t we all be nice and friendly and vegan and spend our days petting cats and reading books in bed?!?!?!

I think this may be the most boring post I’ve written since starting the blog.  It feels quite uninspired.  I apologize!  (Why does my browser think I’ve misspelled apologize?  What about apologise?  Oh, you like that better?!  What, are you a British fucking browser?!  Jesus!)

Enough drivel.  I am going to bury myself in cats and find another immortal classic on Netflix.  Adios!!!!!

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Author: mitcharf

vegan, curmudgeon, animal lover, feminist, agnostic, cat whisperer, bookworm, hermit, Red Sox fan, Cthulhu enthusiast, softball player, man-about-town

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