I'm just an animal looking for a home

Physical attraction

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It is often said that people for whom physical attraction is important are shallow.  What does that really mean, though?  Sure, it’s shallow in that it is an easy, obvious thing to judge — you just need to look at the other person.  So it’s shallow rather than in-depth and thorough.  But there is often also the implication that physical attraction should not matter to us.  That we should pick our mates based on “who they really are on the inside”.  I’ll admit that it is an appealing thought that we could all just be judged based on our thoughts and feelings, separate from everything else.  But we are biological creatures and I don’t think that’s a realistic ideal.  What’s more, I think most of the people who claim that we should not judge based on appearance are themselves guilty of doing that very thing.  I think the best example of this is that, other than bisexuals, people automatically rule out approximately half of the population based just on their gender.  If we were just evaluating someone based on their heart and mind, then their gender wouldn’t matter.  My point is that I think we all have physical traits which we find attractive or unattractive, and whether you consider that to be shallow or not, I don’t think it’s “wrong” or “bad”.  It’s human.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that physical attraction is more important than more “deep” forms of attraction.  I’m just saying that for most people, you can’t just ignore the physical side of things.  I don’t understand people who focus EXCLUSIVELY on the physical side of things, but I also don’t understand folks who claim the physical side doesn’t matter at all.

This post is rambling and incoherent and I DO NOT APOLOGIZE!

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Author: mitcharf

vegan, curmudgeon, animal lover, feminist, agnostic, cat whisperer, bookworm, hermit, Red Sox fan, Cthulhu enthusiast, softball player, man-about-town

One Comment

  1. avatar

    No, this actually made a lot of sense, even if it was a little rambling.

    You can’t make yourself feel attracted to someone, and part of any successful romantic relationship is having a physical attraction to each other.

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