Team Horseface

"The HorseFace Brothers" by Max

News

10/27/00

I added a new link to IBM Fall Foos Tournament page.

10/26/00

Team Horseface participated in the IBM Fall Foos Doubles tournament on 10/21/00. I've added a writeup of the tournament.

11/30/99

I am no longer going to add News entries when I've just added game results

11/7/99

We won our first away game ever, at the Back Room.

9/14/99

A slow start today for Team Horseface. Team Horseface now has a guestbook!

8/25/99

Yet more game results posted. Team Photos posted!

8/24/99

More game results posted. The Legend of Horseface has been documented.

8/23/99

This web page was created. Coming soon are photos and the Legend of Horseface.

The Team

Team Horseface is a foosball (aka table soccer) team. They play most of their games at the foosball table in IBM's Building 45 in Austin, Texas. In fact, at the time of this writing, they have never played a game of foosball (as a team) anywhere else. The team is made up of...

Polly Sunshine

Polly is both manager and publicist of Team Horseface. It is her motivational attitude and unorthodox training methods that have brought Team Horseface where it is today.

Hawi Stecher

Hawi plays offense for Team Horseface. Among his contributions to the team are his talent for foosing and his tolerance of Mitch's intermittent ability to defend the goal.

Mitch Harding

Mitch plays defense for Team Horseface. Apart from being quite lucky on occasion, his main contribution to the team is the creation and maintenance of its internet presence.

The History

Team Horseface was formed one fateful day in July 1999. Polly and Mitch were playing foosball against a pair of software developers. Although the developers were confident they would win, Polly distracted them by telling them the legend of Horseface. As this was going on, Mitch brought his luck to bear, and the rest is history. After that game, Team Horseface had been established. It went on to lose pretty much every subsequent game, despite Polly's repeated tellings of the legend of Horseface. Polly eventually decided to go into management. Hawi was recruited, and the team began testing itself on the field of battle. Again, the team lost virtually every game it played. However, the times, they are a changin'...

And changed they have! Far from their humble roots, Horseface has now gone on to participate in tournaments. While still not at the top of the foosball ladder, Horseface has improved significantly since its inception. Read about the IBM Fall Foos Doubles Tournament, held on 10/21/2000, in which Horseface participated.

The Legend of Horseface

Told by Polly Sunshine...

The year was 1994. The weather was temperate, as one would expect in August in the midwest. It was on my first day of Calculus during my senior year when I first met Horseface. I was sitting in the back of the room, a trick I'd learned on the bus to middle school. It was nearly time for lecture to begin when my attention turned to a large figure at the door. In strutted a monstrous young man. He sat right in front of me, his unruly brown hair hindering my line of vision. My plan to become the next Sophie Germain was ruined. Instead, I spent the next semester pondering the existence of this 6'4" monstrosity. I called him Horseface for his uncanny resemblance to a donkey's ass. He had mastered the art of being generally annoying, smirking at my calculus questions, carrying the stench of the locker room on his gym shorts... I would learn that Horseface wore shorts year round, apparently unhindered by the sting of frozen salt water, ice, snow, and sleet on his bare flesh.

One day I decided that I hated him when I noticed that he outscored me on a quiz. I retaliated by tossing his copy of The Orestes out the window. My high school career ended shortly thereafter. I didn't think about Horseface again until much later. Five years later, I learned that he'd dropped out of college during his first year and was now living with his parents. Apparently he'd had some trouble with our friend MariJuana. Horseface had a part time job as a dishwasher at a truckstop outside of Gas City.

I felt a little guilty as I sat in my corner office on floor 67 overlooking downtown Miami. The world needs Horsefaces too, I thought watching the garbage truck emptying an adjacent building's dumpster. I should have been nice. Thus, Team Horseface has adopted its name in honor of all those tortured, tortured Horsefaces out there. Peace out.

Photos

• Group Shot #1 (8/25/99) -- From left to right are pictured Mitch, Polly and Hawi. This photo was taken without any warning. That's what happens when you don't pay your photographer, I suppose.
• Group Shot #2 (8/25/99) -- The same lineup, but this time we had advance knowledge that the photo was going to be taken. As such, Hawi and I are attempting to look intimidating, while Polly is attempting to make the "Year of the Horse" symbol that she created.
• Group Shot #3 (8/25/99) -- One final try to capture the essence of Team Horseface. Our attempt to appear simultaneously tough, carefree, and non-comical met with very little success.

The Mailing List

Yes, Team Horseface has an official mailing list. If you want to be informed when this site is updated, or keep up with all of the exciting Team Horseface news, then you should subscribe to the list. Subscribing is easy.

The Stats

Team Horseface wisely only began recording its wins and losses on Monday, August 23, 1999:

Scores recorded in bold are tournament games, and are not included in the win/loss totals, points scored totals, etc.